Around the World in 80 Martinis: The Logbook of a Remarkable Voyage Undertaken by Gustav Temple and Vic Darkwood

By Gustav Temple and Vic Darkwood

A fantastic spoof of the Jules Verne classic and an indispensible ‘Rough Guide to the World’ for Chaps everywhere.

On a wet November evening, in the refined surroundings of the Sheridan Club on London’s St James’s Street, Messrs Temple and Darkwood entered into a quite extraordinary wager: Is it possible to travel the entire world, crossing all five continents, using a different method of transport for every leg of the journey?

This is the story of their remarkable attempt.

It is an adventure that takes the Chaps into territory previously unchartered by gentlemen, such as three-star hotels and standard class railway carriages, and involves some of the more curious forms of travel, including balloon, yak, elephant, Kon-Tiki raft and a sperm whale. Along the way they have to negotiate the unpalatable cuisine of North America; cross the entire Congo jungle in a sedan chair; and resort to selling their internal organs after a disastrous night spent at a seedy casino in Bangkok.

Their journey is eased by the indispensable ‘Trubshawe’s Handbook for the Gentleman Traveller’ and by Ahmed, their quick witted Moroccan boyservant, who can always be relied upon to locate the nearest opium den or baccarat table. Principally though, it is an adventure fuelled by Dry Martinis – the only food stuff that Messrs Temple and Darkwood feel they can trust at every corner of the globe.

Format: Hardback
Release Date: 06 Oct 2003
Pages: 144
ISBN: 978-0-00-716920-7
Having overseen the debut-de-siècle Tweed Revolution, Gustav Temple and Vic Darkwood turned their attentions to other pressing matters, such as where to find the most elegant fez. Their research took them to their old stamping grounds of Cairo, Constantinople and Bermondsey. These visits raised a quizzical eyebrow here and produced a winsome smile there, as the pair discovered the true extent of their Charmed Uprising. Temple and Darkwood now oversee hundreds of Chappist outreach projects all over the world, developing various mystical branches of their credo in association with local priests, shamans and soothsayers.

Praise for THE CHAP MANIFESTO: -

• 'This book is manna to all of us who feel that Rupert Brooke's lines 'Stands the Church clock at ten to three?/ And is there honey still for tea?' are among the most poignant in the English language. As the chaps say: 'Welcome to the cult of couth.''Independent -

• 'It is meant to be a joke but, frankly, makes more sense to us than anything we've chanced across in ages. Inspired.'Jockey Slut -